The trauma of trauma

Photo by Averie Woodward via Unsplash

What exactly is trauma? Well, I can’t exactly tell you with a concrete definition. What I mean to say is that by defining trauma I am taking what is an extremely subjective experience and making it objective. That makes my work in this article tricky. However, I will tell you my personal definition of trauma that stems from my experience with it. Fun fact, my definition is what led me into holistic healing. Per usual, I hope my words help you do some reflecting and help formulate your own opinion and definition.

So.. what is trauma? Oh! Happy you asked. Well I believe that trauma is any experience that creates a disconnect between the mind, body, & spirit. It’s an experience that creates such an intense emotional reaction that your being splits. Prior to trauma your mind, body, & spirit will be interacting at more of a conscious level but after trauma, the interaction becomes more reactive and is less conscious. 

Trauma can happen to one person, it can be a collective experience, and it can be experienced second hand. What makes trauma so subjective is that it can impact everyone differently. I believe that 2020 is unfortunately, a perfect example of this. We are experiencing 2020 as an entire collective. No one (to my knowledge), has been immune to its impact. Yet, it is all impacting us differently. 

Trauma is commonly thought of as violent events that can put one’ s life in jeopardy such as an accident, an illness, going to war, and an assault. It can involve loss like the loss of a loved one, a loss financial resources/possessions, and a loss of partnership/relationship. Trauma can be experiencing a natural disaster like a hurricane, tornado, a fire, or an earthquake (I see you climate change). 

Trauma can also be more covert. Have you heard of micoagressions? In an interview with NPR, Kevin Nadal, a professor of psychology at John Jay College of Criminal Justice, stated that microaggressions are “everyday, subtle, intentional and sometimes unintentional interactions or behaviors that communicate some sort of bias toward historically marginalized groups.” (You can read the article HERE) A professor I had compared their experience of microaggressions to a papercut, the impact may not seem like much, but when it happens every day, it adds up. That brings me to my next point. 

There is a tendency when discussing trauma to rate trauma as “little vs big” or “micro vs macro”. I am not here to tell you how “big” your trauma is, you have experienced it and you have the right to feel it in the way you do despite any labels. For example, the case of microaggressions as papercuts, that sounds pretty traumatic despite it’s label as micro. While scaling trauma can be helpful to create context, I believe that in this space, it is best to look at the impact experienced.

It should also be noted that I believe that we can inherit trauma from our family lineage, something I have mentioned before called transgenerational trauma. If trauma is not healed in a previous lifetime then it can impact us in the current one. Consider how BIPOC communities have been impacted by the trauma their ancestors experienced (i.e. enslavement & genocide). I will be writing a future post all on transgenerational trauma as I believe it is underutilized in healing.

So as you can see there is an extensive list as to what a trauma experience might be. That is why it is so hard to define. The key points are that it creates such an intense emotional reaction that your mind, body, & spirit will start to function separately which creates dysfunctional.

So what does this dysfunction look like? Watch the video HERE on where I breakdown how a trauma I experienced impacted my mind, body, & spirit. 

So maybe you have some experiences in mind that feel traumatic. Maybe nothing comes to mind. What I can tell you is that the more impactful traumas of my life I often did not realize their impact or that they were indeed trauma until much later. These experiences left parts of me disconnected so it was harder for me to conceptualized their impact until the dysfunction became too hard to ignore. Having a deeper understanding of self and support systems is important because then it makes it easier to spot when something is off. If I did not mention something in this post that you have experienced as traumatic, it does not mean it’s not trauma. I want to emphasize you have the right to your own experience. Others are not allowed to label your trauma for you. 

So how do we heal and reconnect in response to trauma? This is not a simple process as its layered. I think of healing trauma as an onion (shoutout to my therapist for giving me this metaphor). Healing work, in my opinion, never feels finished but you just keep peeling back the layers. It’s such a complex experience that it’s almost like you could create an entire blog on this concept on healing trauma holistically… (yes I do think I am funny). So look to the posts one MindFULL and what they suggest. I hope they are helpful in creating your own healing experience. As always, I highly suggest consulting a mental health professional such as a therapist because trauma is hard to overcome solo. 

Some might say, why even bother?  Well as daunting as it might seem, what is waiting on the other side is a strength and resiliency that allows for a true connection to yourself. If you ask me, that’s more than worth it. 

Be MindFULL and see you again soon. 

Xoxo, Jesse 

Curious about how trauma impacts your neurobiology? I found this podcast episode of “Expanded” with Lacy Phillips helpful. Click Here to listen.